Archive for November, 2008
The Lobster Pot Parable
The heavens declare the glory of God. The seas tell a few wild tales, too. Here’s an interesting fact as best told by a hopelessly landlubbering shepherd. Have you ever seen caught lobsters in a cage, properly called a lobster pot? There is a mystery here to explore.
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Wear Wolf
An amazing dream. I saw what looked like a fashion runway. Ministers of God of all stripes were there and each had to parade down the runway right in front of the all seeing eyes of the Judge sporting clothing that reflected their true heart. Some would come clothed in simple humility, adorned simply,
Humanity Offered Comprehensive Bailout
Mr. Ali 'Bout Mei Bailout is the deal of eternity, say Recipients “Awesome!” Cries of joy and gratitude have been heard ringing across the planet as humanity has been offered a bailout: Total freedom,
Superhero Saved?
Who is this hero? Transcript from an anonymous television interview with a famed Superhero who has reportedly become “Born Again.” Our Hero was seated behind a curtain with bathed in green light with
Drinking At The Black Hole
Nursing a Seething Grudge The din of the jukebox, the smell of sleaze, the hustlers and the hustled, all swirling madly together like a slithering shadow silhouetted against the cheap Christmas lights
To Dynamite A Dead Whale
In light of recent events, it is hard to believe that something exploding can still be funny. Urban legends abound on the Internet where jokes now zip along near the speed of light bouncing from one side of this planet to the next. And what could be funnier than a joke about an exploding whale raining
Alien First Contact
Rumors of an alien civilization were whispered by the faithful. Strange sightings, otherworldly looking creatures had been seen. A few of the faithful had dared to venture outside to explore this vast, strange new world, but then disappeared. Were they victims of alien abduction, or was something more
Christmas Confession
One snowy, blustery Christmas Eve, a stranger dressed in red came staggering frantically through the doors of a local church building. No one but a pastor was there.STRANGER: I need to see the priest! PASTOR: Well, I’m
Death Takes A Holiday?
Weird reports were coming into the Sludge Report; Grim Reaper sightings. Bigfoot rumors bring a mere yawn to the jaded lips of investigative reporters; right along with Neisse, the Yeti and even little Green Men with Pyramid
Creation 2.0
“The El Diablo virus is continuing to spread, wrecking havoc all through Creation,” said Gabriel, a spokesman for the Master Programmer. The MP, or God, as he is commonly known, is said to have his finger on the Delete.exe button. Sources say that El Diablo was written by a wannabe programmer,
Chess Game With The Devil
A senior pastor was sent a challenge to play a game of chess. The anonymous note said, “Victorious One: You are an undisputed Grandmaster. You’ve beaten your fellow servants frequently. You played against other senior pastors and won. Now, come beat me.” Game day came and the senior pastor found
Choosing My Religion
Choosing My Religion So, your aching soul has finally realized the cold universe spins on with or without you. Upsetting to finally realize Grandma was right, isn’t it? It’s not all about you. There is something out there greater than you, calling you to seek and find. Congratulations. You’re
Bomb Sniffing Dog for Scientologists?
John Travolta and Tom Cruise The Church of Scientology, brainchild of late science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard (also known for allegedly dying several times for tax purposes), is rumored to be getting a bomb sniffing dog to protect their celebrity members. Alas, they are about 12
Marshall Lawless
Marshall Lawless Unheeded cries for “Mercy!” punctuated the moaning drift of prairie wind. An approaching thunder of hoof beats shook the ground. Riders on sweltering horses ridden nigh unto exhaustion had gathered
King's Kids Cruise Line is Sinking!
“Um, this is your Captain speaking. Thanks for sailing on the good ship Prosperity owned by King’s Kids Cruise Lines, sponsored by the man known for ‘marketing the faith once sold to the saints’ – Reverend T.V. Cash.” “Umm, that horrific thud you heard, the one faith talkers have commanded
