Christmas
One snowy, blustery Christmas Eve, a stranger dressed in red came staggering frantically through the doors of a local church building. No one but a pastor was there.STRANGER: I need to see the priest!PASTOR: Well, I’m the pastor. Why… you’re frozen solid. Here, let me get you some hot tea, and we can talk. Nice outfit.
The shivering stranger just nodded his head.
STRANGER: Thanks, Father.
PASTOR: I’m not a Father. Call me Bryan.
STRANGER: Sure thing, Father Bryan. Thanks for the tea.
Pastor Bryan sighed. Whatever was God up to now?
STRANGER: Where is the confessional? I need to confess.
PASTOR: We don’t exactly have one of those…
STRANGER: Then how am I supposed to confess?
PASTOR: Um, here. Sit in the janitor’s broom closet. Turn the bucket upside down, sit on it, and I’ll sit out here. Then we can talk. OK?
STRANGER: Thanks, Father Bryan.
PASTOR: No, I’m just…. Never mind. So, what shall we talk about?
STRANGER: Father, this is my first confession in 3 months. I slugged an elf.
PASTOR: You slugged an … elf?
STRANGER: It’s worse. I took a 3-foot candy cane, drew it back like a 9 Iron, and whacked Sammy the Sugar Plum Fairy clear across the mall floor. Now, all he needs for Christmas is two new front teeth.
PASTOR: Why on earth would you do these things?
STRANGER:. Wanna know why? It’s the mall music! Silver Bells, Silver Bells! It’s Christmas Time, my Aunt Fannie!
PASTOR: I’m not… understanding you.
STRANGER: I’m a mall Santa. I can’t sleep; I can’t eat. I keep hearing Silver Bells! Silver Bells! It’s making me crazy…. Ding-a-ling – can’t you hear them ring?
PASTOR: Well, no but I did once pay off a group of carolers and a bell ringer with $20 bucks to stop ringing that blasted bell in front of my house. He was giving me a headache. So, if I am following this, you…
STRANGER: I knew you’d understand, Father. The Silver Bells are making me crazy! I hate this holiday crud. Who came up with this stuff, anyway?
PASTOR: Traditions aside, it’s a day we set aside to celebrate God’s greatest gift to the world, His son Jesus.
STRANGER: If any bell ringers showed up at the manger, I hope Joseph royally kicked their…
PASTOR: No bell ringers… or wise men, for that matter.
STRANGER: Come again?
PASTOR: The wise men didn’t show up till a year or more latter, and we don’t even know how many for sure. The Bible doesn’t say. Human traditions often obscure the real meaning of Christmas.
STRANGER: Did I commit a venial sin by whacking the snot out of Sammy the Sugar Plum Fairy or punching out that smart mouthed elf? Am I going to hell over this? It’s not like I took God’s name in vain or anything.
PASTOR: You’ve never heard the Gospel, have you? The message of God’s love?
STRANGER: Um, Easter, the saints, confession, the Rosary…
PASTOR: OK, let’s first get right with God.
STRANGER: Sure thing, Father Bryan. How many “Our Fathers” do I need to say to square this with God?
PASTOR: None.
STRANGER: No… none? I don’t get it.
PASTOR: You need to commit yourself to Jesus, confess your sins, repent, that is, be willing to walk away from the sin in your life, and trust in Jesus’ finished work on the Cross. You really don’t have to do anything except believe, accept God’s forgiveness, and serve him from this day onward.
STRANGER: But what about confession?
PASTOR: Confession? The Bible says, “Confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, and you shall be saved.”
STRANGER: But what about penance?
PASTOR: Look, are there Christmas presents under your tree at home?
STRANGER: Yes, one from my wife.
PASTOR: What did you do to earn the gift she is giving you?
STRANGER: Well, I suppose nothing.
PASTOR: What do you have to do to get the gift she is giving you? Do you have to buy it?
STRANGER: No, Father. It’s already paid for. I guess all I have to do is pick it up, open it, and say, “Thank You.”
PASTOR: And this is the Gospel message, the Good News that Jesus is God’s gift to the world. Believe on him, receive him as Lord of your life, and live the rest of your life as a big “Thank You” to God for the gift he has given you. You can’t earn it. His salvation is a present available to all, but only given to those who are willing to receive it.
STRANGER: What about the elf I slugged?
PASTOR: Let’s pray together so you can accept God’s free gift of forgiveness, and then we’ll go to the mall and ask the elf to forgive you; Sammy the Sugar Plum Fairy, too.
STRANGER: What about those darn Silver Bells that keeps echoing in my head?
PASTOR: Try earplugs. Let’s pray…
Bryan Hupperts © 2008
SheepTrax™ features the wit, wisdom and deepthinking of Christian story teller Bryan Hupperts. You may freely copy and forward this material provided it is not for resale or profit. All right reserved.
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