Lottery
Winning numbers, but the devil to pay
The National Lottery and Bingo Commission is in disarray after the exact same numbers have been drawn for 6 nights in a row. In what is being described as a public relations nightmare, lotto officials are hard pressed to explain the odd phenomena.
“It isn’t a hoax,” said gaming official Mr. Devlin. “Somehow, against all odds and probability, we have randomly drawn 6 consecutive sets of the number 666.”
666 is conveniently an infamous number from the Christian Bible that speaks of a foretold period of time called the Last Days. According to Christian tradition, it refers to one called the Antichrist, a being utterly possessed by Satan who will arise and deceive many with “lying signs and wonders” before the return of Christ.
The 666 passage is found in Revelation 13:18, “Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is six hundred and sixty-six (666).”
Said one lotto player, “I mean, this is crazy. Who would pick those three numbers to play? Is this some kind of sign? All they preach at my church is love, peace, and safety. Do you think that God might actually be speaking to us?”
The National Lottery and Bingo Commission has dismissed such notions are far-fetched and fanciful. Said one official, “Every respectable church plays Bingo and many churchmen play the lotto. This bizarre occurrence is nothing more than a mathematical aberration.”
Ticket sales are presently in the toilet.
A minority of churches are displaying these relevant Bible verses on their marquees as a warning to lotto players everywhere, much to the chagrin of gaming officials:
Revelation 16:2, “A foul and loathsome sore came upon the men who had the mark of the beast and those who worshiped his image.”
Revelation 19:20, “Then the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who worked signs in his presence, by which he deceived those who received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped his image. These two were cast alive into the lake of fire burning with brimstone.”
Mr. Devlin, whose personalized license plates curiously enough read HELL YES, said in a press interview this morning, “Come back and play some more. Don’t let religious superstitions keep you from being a winner. You need money to pay for Christmas, right? Here’s your chance to love your neighbor. Buy them a lotto ticket. Besides, 666 are my three favorite numbers.”
Bryan Hupperts © 2003 - 2008
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