Coastal

By bryan • on January 12, 2009

Jimmy Buffett Slapped Here!

Jimmy Buffett Slapped Here!

Dear Jimmy Buffet,

I’m resigning as a Parrothead and am saying goodbye to you and the whimsically dubbed Coral Reefer Band. Lately, I’ve had some changes in latitude and changes in attitude of my own, going from stoned to the Rock.

I’ve given up Margaritas. The only frozen concoction I hang on to is a bag of ice to deal with the night sweats and headaches from the withdrawals. I’m told they eventually pass. As a fan of your for many years, how can I say this? As it turned out, forget the cheeseburger ‘cause I just needed Paradise, thanks.

I saw a genuine miracle… Jesus turned booze into good furniture! Why? I quit drinking thanks to a little help from my Friend. How does booze become good furniture? Well, when you quit wasting away in Margaritaville, you suddenly have extra cash…

To rephrase Fruitcake, one of your many brilliant songs:

I cried out to God, from a bar with no steeple
And then I was clean, and one of His people
Christ died for sinners, whether gorgeous or pimpled
The God’s honest truth is it’s really that simple.

That’s right, Jimmy. I met the God of Heaven you seem to enjoy lampooning. Now sober, I’m nearly in shock that I laughed along with you. Whatever were we thinking?

Alright, I still go out to restaurants and, while I’m OK around the pepper grinders, those salt shakers still give me the shakes! The sound of a blender gives me the willies, the post Margaritaville DT’s, as in Don’t Touch.

Thanks for all the laughs and good times. Honest. I love your music. The truth is I and the other Parrotheads followed you like lemmings. To pun on your discography, has it ever occurred to you there might be a final destination to this trip of life? One particular, final harbor? The carnival is gonna stop, the banana wind will quit blowing, and to borrow a lyric title, I hope you understand the eternal reality that God is Bigger Than Both Of Us.

Jimmy, I hopped on the highway of holiness, with Margaritaville slowly disappearing from my rearview mirror. I’m God’s own ex-Drunk. May he give me the grace to never look back and you the good sense to look forward – and pray.

I hate sponge cake, too.

With love,

An ex-Parrothead.

Bryan Hupperts © 2006 - 2009

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Comments

By Diogenes on January 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Bryan Bro, I totally get what you’re saying here. But as an ex-alcoholic who was completely delivered from the booze habit 18 & 1/2 years ago by Jesus Himself I can tell ya that I am still a Parrothead - a Parrothead For Jesus! There’s a few of us out there who still love Jimmy, and we pray for him.

I have a bold witnessing page on a web community called The Phlockers where Parrotheads of all walks of life gather - and surprisingly there are a lot of us there who are outspoken Christians. Sure, I am offended by Jimmy’s lampooning God and his sin tinged remarks about drunkeness and debauchery, but I don’t let it bother me. Sin is sin and it’s everywhere - even in the church! How much more do these Parrotheads need to hear the word of Faith and Love? They’re not coming to our church tomorrow - we have to take the Good News to them where they are. I am right there in the thick of it saying, “Hey, you don’t have to be a drunken stoned whorechasing athiest or agnostic, you can give your life to Jesus and He will give you a new life, one of sobriety and straightness, and one of blessed marital bliss and a sureity that your sins are forgiven and that you are indeed going to heaven to live with Him forever in the REAL party that never stops!” I just don’t let Jimmy’s four letter words get to me or his songs that talk about sin. When I hear that stuff I think of how far God has brought me.

All that aside I know Jimmy has been let down by so-called Christians, especially during his time as an altar boy in the Catholic Church. One of the priests tried to molest him. It didn’t happen but he has been scarred by this and only God can heal it. He claims to be an agnostic but he sure talks about God a LOT! So much so I don’t believe he doesn’t believe. I think he is trying to convince himself that he doesn’t.

As for the Parrothead lifestyle, Jimmy may actually be one of the people who lives it the least. He doesn’t drink that much these days and chemical abuse has long been absent from his life. Plus he is monogamous, back with his one true love Jane, whom he lost for a few years but finally realized he would have to clean up his act or lose her forever. She is the mother of his daughter Savannah. Jimmy had to quit chasing women and get free of drugs or Jane would have never gotten back together with him nor would she have allowed Savannah to be raised in that atmosphere.

I know he has changed a LOT! He goes to bed at an earlier hour than he used to - and earlier than I do. He’s more of a business man with his fine food products, t-shirts and other wares, which I can tell you first hand are all 1st class. For the most part Jimmy busies himself with enjoying God’s handiwork of creation - whether he admits it or not, he admires the wonders of nature as much or more than anyone at National Geographic.

I know Jimmy makes fun of things like TV preachers - have you seen these people? They need to be made fun of! 90% of them are charlatans and even an unbeliever like Jimmy can see that - as do I, because they are not teaching God’s word. Like a great percentage of preachers not on TV, but still they are teaching false things and leading people astray. I don’t think orgainized religion is the answer but I do think a Brotherhood and Sisterhood of true Christians submitted to Jesus is the answer. I doubt all of God’s people are in some pew on Sunday. I think a lot of the folks who are there don’t have a clue who He is. And they don’t listen to Jimmy Buffett for the most part. But they aren’t getting the Message where they are. I think between the lines Jimmy is saying “Hey, these people are fake,” when he describes TV preachers with “bad hair and dimples” (they got that stuff!), but at the same time I think he is saying, “the truth is out there somewhere” and leaving it open to people to find their own answers. He isn’t telling his fans, “There’s no God, so let’s go party till we die, because after that it’s over,” or anything close to that. He sings about prayer and repentance in some of his songs and even pennance and retribution for wrongs committed. He KNOWS about this stuff so he writes and sings about it. More and more he sings about love and the last couple of studio CD’s have songs that include the topic of faith. The older he gets the more this stuff is creeping into his work - and the more it does the better he gets! He’s writing better and singing better even though he can’t hit those high notes like he used to. I believe God is speaking to him - hey, I pray for his salvation so I know God is speaking to him in many ways.

Yeah, Jimmy is rough around the edges - he hasn’t made that decision to follow Jesus yet. But I believe he will. I just keep praying and telling others, “You don’t have to live this way and you don’t have to be a lost sinner to enjoy Buffett’s music.” I love his music, it’s so neat the way he blends music from around the world - like nobody else in the world.

I won’t abandon Jimmy or his music and the truth is I love his music more since I got completely sober 18 years ago. My wife and I don’t do drugs and we don’t mess around because God is the Lord of our home and our hearts. He gave us to one another and we acknowledge that before the world. We pray for our music heroes, saved and unsaved. We both try to be a voice in the wilderness with the word of Truth and Hope.

The last thing I want is for someone to misunderstand me here and say well, this guy thinks it’s ok to be a Parrothead so that means he approves of the life these people live. I never said that. I don’t approve, nor does God. But I won’t break friendship with Parrothead Pholks who are still in the life just because they haven’t embraced Jesus yet. It’s my job to share Christ with them in precept by my walk and in concept by my love for them, not setting myself apart from them. I am not better than they are - I just don’t sin the sins that they still sin. My whole reason to be here is to say, “Hey, you can be a guitar player without living for the devil! You can be a person who is in this world and still enjoy the good in it without partaking of evil or sinful acts. You don’t have to be a drunk or a doper, and you don’t have to be a slave to your passions or addictions. God will set you free to live and to have life more abundantly thru Him!” Moreover you don’t have to be a preacher or a religious idiot to be a Christian. You don’t have to be a weirdo or a freak to be a Christian - you can be a normal everyday person who has a family, goes to work, watches the game or pops in an Eric Clapton CD or a Jimmy Buffett CD in the player when the mood strikes ya for some tunage.

Life is life and we’d better enjoy it. Former Parrothead’s turned Christian burning Jimmy Buffett’s CD’s? Aww, c’mon, we can do better than that! I remember people burning Beatle records who thought they had to do that to be a Christian… now most of these people have awesome collections of Beatles CD’s. Why not? It’s great music. Music is music and it doesn’t take a song to make one want to sin. If you’re prone to drunkeness “Amazing Grace” will make that person go get drunk! If they’re prone to fornication or adultery, “The Star Spangled Banner” will work just as well as the latest pop tune, because sin is really what’s on there mind - NOT music!

For the record I have been a fan of Led Zeppelin since they came out. Their music never made me wanna do witchcraft or drugs or anything else except learn to play the guitar better. Same with Pink Floyd’s music - they never made me want to smoke tons of pot - in fact I have never smoked it! The Eagles Hotel California never made me want to do Life In The Fast Lane and snort or shoot up cocaine/heroin speedballs or check out where I can never leave. Anything negative that they sang about I always took as a warning, “Hey, this stuff is not to be messed with - do not try this at home!” Dylan? Bob is Bob! He’s always been on a search for truth and a mission to expose hypocrasy in religion and politics. He’s still a Child of God even though he refused to be a poster boy for the Contemporary Christian Music industry or the Vineyard. Like lightning, Bob’s too big to be contained in a bottle and his message is in his songs - NOT his off the wall interview comments where he consistantly insults the intelligence of the interviewer for asking stupid questions they have the answers for right their in the lyrics. Christians that have gave up on Bob should be ashamed of themselves. They stopped listening to him and started listening to the critics. Even unbelievers have better sense than that when it comes to His Bobness! Ditto for Jimmy Buffett… the truth is most Parrotheads are too drunk and stoned at the time to really listen to Jimmy and what he is really saying. Christians are too busy running from songs that mention a specific alcoholic beverage or mix or that song that has the bad words in it for fear that something will rub off. These people will never reach Jimmy or his Parrothead Phanz. I for one have decided to make a difference. I will reach out to them all in any way I can with faith, love, truth and hope!

Diogenes

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