Miss
Miss Godly Manners, Advice Columnist
As a Christian, I have been invited to the social event of Eternity – the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Do I need to bring a gift? If so, where is the happy couple registered? And what do you give the God who made everything anyway?
Perplexed in Phoenix.
Dear Perplexed.
No gift? You will be committing the Ultimate Wedding faux pas to show up at that gala event without a gift. While not the Unpardonable sin, it would still be unthinkable.
Gentle reader, if you are really a Christian, this is your wedding. You, as part of the corporate Bride, with be arrayed in dazzling white without spot or wrinkle ready to be given to your Savior and Lord.
Sadly, many who have been invited to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb have declined the invitation. Of the few who said, “Yes” to Jesus, many will arrive barren and embarrassed. They did not prepare to bring a gift.
Jesus is not ashamed to call you his own and His Father has given you his entire kingdom as a wedding gift. He asks in return that your life be lived so that you use the giftings he has given to you to bear much fruit. The Wedding Planning Manual says, in John 15:8, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit.”
Darling, if you are called to, say, evangelize souls, but do not, you will have no fruit that remains and will therefore have no gift to offer at your wedding. Bad form. Whatever your calling, if you do not fulfill it, you will come to your own wedding empty handed.
While you will not be vanquished to stand amid the weeping, waiting and gnashing of teeth with the goats, you’ll no doubt feel like one.
The Divine Miss G.M.
Dear Miss Godly Manners:
Is there a polite way to deal with the devil? The Bible says in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” Should I shout, plead the blood of Jesus, or pray quietly when confronting the forces of darkness?
Clueless Charismatic
Dear Clueless,
The Divine Miss Godly Manners is no theologian but she can read. I am assuming you’ve been watching some ghastly spiritual charlatan on The Blasphemy Network. Brother Nit & Sister Wit Fruitloop have a new revelation for the New Year? Tsk tsk. Might I suggest a more fruitful use of your time?
Gentle reader, the verse you quoted not about the devil at all but it is often mis-aimed at him by a new breed lower than himself. I am referring to human devils. This verse is a warning about false shepherds who come disguised as servants of righteousness. Protocol demands they come driving laundry tucks as they are there to clean you out but then, alas, deception is their trademark.
If they look like a servant of God, talk like a servant of God, but finally act like a devil, Miss Godly Manners asks you to take an educated guess as to who they really serve (other than their own appetites).
As to dealing with the devil himself, perhaps a more thorough knowledge of the Bible would be a good place to start. With apologies to Rev. Nit & Wit Fruitloop, that is something you will simply not learn idling away the hours (and your hard earned wages) watching The Blasphemy Network.
And your moniker is a tad redundant.
The Divine Miss GM
“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.” Revelation 19:7
Feeling befuddled about good form, taste and manners in the kingdom of God? Unsure of eternal etiquette? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Godly Manners personal secretary (who is distraught that she cannot reply personally) at. bhupperts@sheeptrax.com
Bryan Hupperts © 2009
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