Revelation
SheepTrax Xpress has uncovered something rarer than a Hannibal Lecter “steak” dinner; two evening news talking heads telling the truth! Check out the Revelation News Weather and Sports report only on SheepTrax Xpress where, “It’s not the News, It’s the Truth!”
Weatherguy Bob and Sportsguy Chuck bantering away…
Bob: If you look at the map…
Chuck: (Interrupting) But where are the dragons and seals and such? it’s not even laid out dispensationally…
Bob: The weather map, Chuck… definite clouds of Judgment rolling in. It’s raining in one place but there’s drought in another.
Chuck: Not a Baptist, are you, Bob?
Bob: Christ is not divided, Chuck. Still, those storm clouds of Judgment are definitely gonna affect the horses running. Strife, War, Famine and Death are running for the gold.
Chuck: I doubt the weather will stop the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Bob.
Both laugh.
Bob: I doubt it too, Chuck. This weather is right out of ancient Egypt. We have killer hail, frogs, locusts, and rivers turning to blood…
Chuck: Unbelievers think its all global warming.
Bob: No. I’d say more like a Global warning. From God. Christ is returning.
Chuck: Yes, Bob, I’d say that, as Sportsguy, in this final quarter, Matthew, number 24, is running the long bomb to finish out the final seconds of this game.
Bob: Ultimate victory is assured for those who long for his coming.
Chuck: Matthew’s coming back?
Bob: No, Chuck. Jesus. And he’s got enough saints riding with him to fill up a thousand superdomes.
Chuck: I’ll bet those fans go wild!
Bob: Well, they’re worshippers, not fans, Chuck. Still, can you just imagine them doing the wave while worshipping around the emerald throne of God? A wave offering is Biblical even for Baptists, Chuck.
Chuck: Ouch! But you’re right, Bob. Say, what about the changes in the heavens? Why are we having such weird weather?
Bob: You mean the stars falling, the moon turning to blood and the deep darkness spreading all over the planet? I’m afraid it’s far more serious than just farting cows, Chuck.
Chuck: Funny. Liberals will blame God’s Judgment on anything but their own sin, even farting cows. Scary stuff. But we’re promised that the Morningstar will finally rise. We just have to look up for our redemption is drawing nigh. Victory is assured but in the meantime, we just have to run the race fixing our eyes on the prize: Jesus! Remember to run so as to win.
Bob: Yes, indeed. Good coaching, Chuck. And don’t forget to pad up wearing the full armor of God.
Chuck: Good point, Bob. Funny, but all that armor won’t slow you down. It will actually protect you during the run.
Bob: Umm…, won’t armor attract lightening strikes of wrathful Judgment? Remember you-know-who finally falls like lightening.
Chuck: Bob, this armor is for the protection of my favorite team, The Saints, but it must be worn with both the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit. And, good news, it deflects lightening bolts of Judgment!
Bob: Wow! Can I get a witness anybody?
Chuck: God is sending two End Time Witnesses actually…
Bob & Chuck: (In unison)… and they aren’t Jehovah’s Witnesses, either!
Both laugh.
Chuck: I expect we’ll get a knock at our door for that crack, Bob.
Bob: Yes, but I don’t mind. I get to tell them how to know the light from the encroaching darkness.
Chuck: Sober stuff, Bob. This marathon really is for all eternity. The prize? Possessing Christ himself and ruling and reigning with him.
Bob: Don’t forget that first 1000 years when he rules from Jerusalem. Believers in Jesus will judge nations. So Chuck, are you running for the gold?
Chuck: No, Bob. I’m running for the crown of life which God will give to those who love his appearing.
Bob: That is good news. This is Weatherguy Bob saying knowing the signs of the skies is important, but discerning the signs of the times is better. Thanks for watching Revelation News, Weather, and Sports.
Chuck: And this is Sportsguy Chuck saying that in Christ, you’re always a champion. Good Night and Good News.
Bryan Hupperts © 2008
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Comments
By Robin on January 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
BRAVO!!!!!!!! Glad you posted this in Q&A forum, got you in my favorites now!!!
God bless you!
Robin