Preacher
Gotta serve somebody - but who?
Calling his movement The Zimmerman Way, the once Reverend Chuckie Leven announced to his surprised congregation that he would no longer teach from the Bible and would, in the name of postmodernism, preach only from Dylan lyrics. The reaction was predictable; what about U2?
Et tu, Bono? Et tu?
Facing a nasty church split, he drew inspiration from Dylan’s Man of Peace finally conceding the need for special holiday music so he agreed to branch out to include lyrics by U2 for U2charist celebrations for Christmas and Easter.
“Reading the Bible is pretty pointless unless you approach it with the intent to obey and put into personal practice what’s written on its pages,” said once Reverend Leven, “and really, who does that?”
Chuckie, or Brother D as he is now known, had an epiphany listening to the Dylan classic, “Infidels.” Knowing he was in unforgiveness towards a few former board members who, in his words, rebelled against his ministry innovations, he decided teaching the Bible was a waste of his time as he had no intent to forgive them. Ever.
“You don’t need to be a weatherman to see the way the wind blows,” he cantered knowingly.
Dressed in black, wearing dark sunglasses, his voice inflected as if he had gargled with Scotch and gravel, he dialogued this question, “’All along the watchtower’…. I mean, what does that mean? It’s some deep caca to ponder,” he concluded noting he was “like Dylan’s Jokerman, being far more about questions than answers.”
The Zimmerman Way is for people who want spirituality in their lives but don’t want to be bothered with the actual person of God. That “obey the Lord thy God” thing is anathema to them, too. Quoting Bob the Blessed, they practice a form of pragmatic spirituality. ““People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.”
When asked if they felt any conflict in knocking on heaven door but acting as if no one was there to answer, and when further asked if knowing the truth could really make you free, the congregation chanted back Dylan’s enigmatic words: “All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.”
The fundamental problem with professing Christians getting away from the Bible is this; you gotta preach somebody and when you reject the words of life, where do you go? Who but Jesus Christ has the words of eternal life?
Dylan briefly embraced the Christian faith but then apparently de-converted. Said Brother D, “We prefer the Freewheeling Bob Dylan. We embrace Highway 61 over Isaiah 61. And we get our theology from protest songs. Protest, Protestant, get it? You say we lost our faith but that’s not where it’s at.”
Critics respond, “You got no faith to lose and you know it.”
The one nice thing about The Zimmerman Way worship services; you don’t have to be a great singer to sing along. They end with the traditional benediction: “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind,” apparently unaware of the gathering storm clouds right outside their door.
And yeah, the wind began to howl…
Bryan Hupperts © 2009
www.sheeptrax.com/xpress
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Comments
By Abigail on February 27th, 2009 at 8:19 am
I am just waiting for this to become a real trend. So many are just throwing out the bible altogether. How heartbreaking.
By bryan on February 27th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Abigail,
I am shocked, especially in charismatic circles, how the Word from the prophet - no matter how goofy or off - is supplanting the Bible as our authority. This is already happening.
If there is anything that needs to happen in the body of Christ, it is for Christians to get to know their God through the revelation of His eternal Word.
BH
By hudson on March 5th, 2009 at 12:39 am
bob dylan’s lyrics have always owed alot to the bible.
maybe they could start using dylan songs to highlight things in the bible
and sing the songs themselves as hymns
By mjohara on March 10th, 2009 at 10:09 am
hudson….What few glimpses of truth Bob Dylan wrote/got he DID get largely from Biblical truth (s)…. WHY GO TO HIS “glympses” when you can go to the clear source of his inspiration.
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.”
Matthew 24:35
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