Archive for March, 2009
Seven Times the Fun
My brother and I took my then 5 year old son David fishing in a little city park. We were told that the blue gill would do everything but bait the hook for you in order to get caught. It’s a fun place to take kids to fish because, while the fish are small, they’re
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Same Old Song
When I was in college, I majored in radio and TV. Part of my education was funded by my 20 hour a week job as the Continuity Director of our campus station.
Wanted: Goddess for Hire
Forget talent agents and Junior Miss Pageant shows. If you’re looking to cash in on your 5 year old daughters’ charm and good looks, there is a dire shortage of goddesses in Nepal. They are hiring. Think
The Whine Shop
I was walking down a commercial street district and heard party-like noises coming from a shop. The door suddenly opened and someone I took to be the host invited me in. “We’re having a whine tasting
The Ooze
It was just a small black spot, a minor blip on her beauty radar, certainly nothing to worry about. She dabbed some blush over the spot, smiled confidently back at herself in the mirror, and went on about her fabulous
Postmodern Pastor Hit By Bus
Good News Flash: A Postmodern pastor was hit by a bus at the corner of Absolut & Reality Lane. According to his testimony, when he “saw a light from Heaven,” Rev. Derrick Dunkoff had an epiphany. He now believes in buses. And in objective truth. Dunkoff started out trying to reach unsaved
A Corridor of Portraits
While praying, the Lord opened a beautiful vision to me. I found myself in a very long hallway and at the opposite far end of this hallway was a fireplace burning in a room. I began to walk down the corridor and saw
The Maka-Messiah Shoppe
I was walking through Eden Mall shopping center when I spied The Maka-Messiah Shoppe. It was laid out so you could select your doll then accessorize to your own tastes. With my mouth open in disbelief, I stepped
The Princess and the Magic Mirror
Once upon a time a would be princess, who, to escape the troubling world, being fed up with charmless princes, frogs on the make, fed up with “get rich quick” guaranteed gold making multi-level marketing spindles,
Judas Had His Reasons
Allow me to touch on a historical theological sore spot of the Church of Jesus Christ: the enigma of Judas Iscariot, one time anointed Apostle of the faith turned traitor of the Lord. Judas was called by Jesus
The Fear Factory
Dr. Americana Bones, the famous adventurer archeologist, has unearthed an ancient document that is by far the oldest writing ever discovered. “It’s genuine,” said the intrepid explorer. “I’ll
Unauthorized Church Bake Sale
She was driving past a church when she saw a sign advertising an Unauthorized Church Bake Sale. Why would a church bake sale be unauthorized? Curiosity got the better of her so she parked and waked on
Dead Man Walking
St. Patrick. “I saw a dead man walking,” declared freaked out Irish traveler Ray O’Light. “I mean, I heard you can’t keep these Jews down no matter what, but this…,”
My Inner Mermaid
Does anyone really have an Inner Mermaid? Stem cell research, genetic engineering, bioethics, words that are all part of a growing vocabulary of a wondrous, and potentially frightening, brave new world where man gets to
5 Fold Ministry Hold ’Em
In a hidden back room in a place called The Church Casino, I was invited to watch a high stakes game of poker being played. The players were some of the biggest names in religion. Each had come, not with a cross,
Midnight Cry: Dream Of Newborns And The Father of Lies
I was in a hospital looking through the glass at the nursery where all the newborn babies are kept right after birth. Standing in front of me, partially obstructing my view with his back to me was the father of these newborns. I
