Dead
St. Patrick.
“I saw a dead man walking,” declared freaked out Irish traveler Ray O’Light. “I mean, I heard you can’t keep these Jews down no matter what, but this…,” as his voice trailed off to a whisper. We met in a secluded café .
O’Light, a Jewish proselyte from the costal region of Ireland was among the throngs of religious pilgrims at this year’s Passover Feast in Jerusalem. The Jerusalem Parks Service estimates a record-breaking crowd in attendance this year largely due to the presence of an itinerant evangelist, self-styled prophet, the criminal Jesus of Nazareth.
“Well, as any educated person knows, the Eire [(Pron. AY-reh) Irish Gaelic name for Ireland] are God’s other chosen people,” declared O’Light. “Naturally I came to hear this preacher for myself. They were talking about his miracles and teachings all over my homeland. They said, ‘There is a prophet in Israel,’ so I came to the pilgrimage to sees for meself what the hoopla was about.”
O’Light continues in his own words:
What I saw shocked me to my soul. They crucified this man. It was horrible, more barbaric than the Germanic hordes if you asked me. These Romans are… serious… about their work.
I followed this Jesus while he dragged his crossbeam to the place of execution; they call it Skull Hill, and watched them nail him to a cross. It was gruesome.
See, earlier in the week, Jesus stood in front of a fountain and declared himself the Uisce Beatha (Pron: Ooshka baha). Ya know, the Water of Life. No, not whiskey, but the real Water of Life.
Can you believe one of my own kinsmen sided with the crowds? He jeered Jesus with the traditional Eire curse, ‘Titim gan éirí ort,’ which, for those of you who speak a barbarian tongue, means, ‘May you fall without rising.’ I was dismayed at their anger and, after a few days of mullin it over, I decided to head for a pub I discovered near the Temple to drown my sorrows in a pint.
I never made it. There, standing before me in the late hours, I could see him clearly by torchlight, was Jesus. The dead man was walking. Alive!
We Eire have a saying, ‘Scileann fíon fírinne,’ which means, ‘Wine lets out the truth.’ Well, the new wine that Jesus gives does indeed let out the Truth. I saw a dead man walking, raised from the dead, made alive forever! I put my faith and trust in him. I can’t wait to tell my best pal Patrick about this!
At this point, Roman guards came into the café checking claytabs (I.D.s) and O’Light made a hasty exit, and presumably smiled all the way back to Eire, a Ray O’Light indeed.
Bryan Hupperts Copyright 2003- 2009
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